Thoughts of Spring...

It's spring time...the birds are chirping, the sun is shining and the heater is taking a break!  Yay!  Personally, I go for the warmer weather.  Yes, yes, the winter does bring out the fashion savvy side of me and I do enjoy wearing those dressy coats, lace up boots and beautiful scarves, but the chilly seep-through-the-bone weather isn't for me.  And to think I'm in sunny California!  Hopefully, I never have to live where it actually snows during the winter (nope, hail doesn't count, hahahha!).

With the chill factor going down a notch, we find the time to move around the house and yes, actually clean-up, thus, spring cleaning.  I've done this a week ago and a single kid's room took me over 2 days to do.  Going through the piles of stuff which have been gathering dust for over a year, makes me wonder why I didn't throw them out long ago in the first place.  The closets almost collapsing from too many clothes were a mystery too.....after laying them out and setting aside items that were too small for the boys plus clothes I was hoping they would wear but never saw the light of day.....I actually had too much space left!  The way time works is just so unbelievably fast...a clear indication were the clothes that used to fit a season ago and now has to be either passed on to the next sibling or to be given away.  Where have all my little boys gone?  I hope I wasn't too busy to see them grow up.  My eldest just passed his HSPT with flying colors (which I never doubted he could do) and got into the sole high school we applied to (okay, I got a little jittery about this but nevertheless, knew he would get in).  It was bittersweet the day we sat together and chose the courses he would be taking, him still thinking my opinion mattered, me hoping I'd continue to matter.  This kid used to shout "I love you mom!!!" at the top of his lungs for every aisle that we would pass when we did our grocery shopping...yes, the same boy who would have me kiss his boo-boo or cut-up his food for him in tiny bits so he could eat without pauses.  Now I look at him and see a young man, with very strong principles, and a clear view of what's right and wrong.  He's not like other teens who couldn't wait to join the bandwagon and try to belong but is comfortable with his uniqueness and is not afraid to show his individuality.  He sees no color nor gender and will never intentionally hurt anyone since he sees the value in everything.  A young man, ready to take on the world....hopefully with one hand linked to mine.

I think we've done pretty well.....

On turning the big 4-0 and all that nonsense...

Yes, I'm officially over-the-hill...  I turned the big 4-0 a few days back and wasn't expecting many changes.  I was right, of course, since I didn't feel magically wiser and more mature when the clock struck 12.  I was the same ol' me....but then again, age has its way of creeping on you.  I am definitely an entirely different being from the person that I was 20 years back.  For crying out loud, my major worries then included getting out of the office in time to make it to the shuttle and to find a cute blouse to wear for the next movie night with my boyfriend.  These types of things didn't seem too shallow then and were direct sources of stress at that time.  Who would've known that in another 20 years, I would be worrying more about being able to manage shuttling my 3 boys to their various activities (this is of course on top of my own daily errands), being a single-parent to these boys when their dad was slaving away on one of his many business trips (too often, I must say, but he has been commendably hard-working to provide for the family), managing the family budget and so much more?

The years have been good to me though and I have slowly inched my way into responsible adulthood.  No drastic metamorposis for me, but a gentle layering of wisdom, courage, selflessness and acceptance brought about by my everyday experiences. There have been a few trials along the way but with all the wonderful things I've been blessed with, I just feel like the luckiest 40-year old in the world.

Of course, I don't expect the rest of my years to be easy, since the first half was far from that.  I do know though that whatever comes my way, I'll be able to face it head-on, my head held high with a courage only one who has gone over-the-hill could have.